Paper Towns

Well it has been a while since I read a book. So I'm currently reading Paper Towns by John Green, which I know is such a mainstream book but since it is already mainstreamed and I haven't even read it yet makes me feel like I'm too uncool.

It's like totally incredible one can have like 2 different personalities and hide one so well. I want to be like that, so mysterious and all. It's like a secret you hide from the rest of the world. So cool.

But well, I haven't finish the book yet so there may be a major plot twist that Margo's bipolar or something. Quentin sounds cool tho. Would rather live a nerd like him that be some cool cheerleader or popular kid.

Anyways University Applications are a pain in the neck. SO MANY DOCUMENTS.

Short post today. I've got a book to finish and essays to write.

Third person

She is sad. Writing in a third person makes her feel less vulnerable to the world, and that she copied how to write from a third person's point of view makes her feel shitty. Like, won't I have any original thoughts? Or do I always have to take other people's ideas and plagiarize. It makes her feel dumb and unintelligent.

Alright. Had the best dinner. It was mostly the good food and the nice environment. But somehow, in her heart, she knows that this is probably one of the last rare times that she will sit with her dad alone, eating a nice dinner just both of them.

Her dad isn't a nice person. She knew it. She knows she has to get away from him, or over time she will become her dad's mirror image, forever imprinted with the meanness that is inherited from generation to generation. Her aunts were all mean, her grandparents were probably mean if she had the chance to know them.

Yet, he is her dad. He is the one that pays for bills and work hard to put food on the table. He is the one that sacrifices his time to make his family's life better. He had a hard and bitter life. He had every excuse to be mean. He knows he is mean, but yet he doesn't make moves to change his personality. He gets angry everyday at tiny issues, he is selfish, he is egoistic and demanding as well as impatient as a child on Christmas Eve.

It is difficult to be in this position. She feels bad, yet she knows she has to leave. She loves her dad. And now she is crying her eyes out as she acknowledges that fact.

They talked about the food. How good it was. They talked about old times. However, she is careful of what she says. It is easy to make him angry. He was like an active volcano, ready to erupt in anger any moment. It makes her sad.

The food was good though. The bill was very expensive. The waiter bid them a good journey and they left. Goodbye. I am leaving my childhood behind now.

Now I think I know 
What you tried to say to me 
How you suffered for your sanity 
How you tried to set them free 
They did not listen they're not listening still 
Perhaps they never will