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 Cars and trucks drive past the busy street beside mine. They are so loud. I hate this apartment.

Waking me up from a dreamless sleep

It's way too early in the morning and I don't know what to do. The heat is sticking to my skin.

My apartment seems so foreign to me. It feels less like home than when I woke up with my friends.

My legs ache from the hiking I have done. Reminding me of the days past, that I was once happy, even though it was only a day or two ago. 

Oh, how much has happened in a day or two 

I thought you were my life. The bright spot in my otherwise gloomy world. 

You have left now. There isn't a bright spot in my world any more. The sun has set. 

 I need to find another source of light. 

How do I feel seeing that you have ignored my messages yet again? That you do not care about me anymore. That I mean nothing to you.

I don't feel like holding on. I don't want to feel less than you anymore. I don't want to feel as though I'm the only person caring about this. I don't want to feel the worthlessness that I feel around you. That I am not a part of your life. That I mean nothing. That you need me because you have no one. 

I hate the fact that you pick on the smallest and dumbest shit that happens. That you are perturbed by everything, that you never let bygones be bygones.

I still think having you around is better than not having anybody around. 

I don't crave you anymore.

I think I need go get up. Create my own bright spot. Create the meaning in my life instead of expecting you to be mine. 

It hurts, it sucks, it pains me. But I think it's time for me to get up.

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