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 I think I might have to resign myself to the fact that maybe I really am not an organized person and will never be one. 

I think I might be trying to hard to somebody that I am not at this point and that's making me unhappy. 

Talked to mom and she mentioned that if my priority in New York is to have experiences, then I should go and have experiences, and everything should come secondary. That is kind of eye opening. I think I have been anxious to start a life and to build up towards things and maybe I should just take things on the cheek and chill out. 

My Lucky puppy is so so old. She's a little bag of bones and my heart hurts. I think I want to just give her love and take a lot of videos and pictures. I think that's what I want to do anyways. Just be present and experience life. 

Cyndi and Alan are coming tomorrow and I'm excited to show them around. I am excited to see all my old friends from Seattle to. 

I have a lot I want to do, lot's to document and lot's to learn from. I am going to try my best and I think I can look back years later and just rejoice that I tried. 

I want to run a half marathon this year. Gain some weight, make new friends, and just have new experiences and be better at the skills that I have picked up in Seattle. Climbing, pottery, running, writing, reading and then do things like going to museums and broadway shows and eating food. 

Speaking of, I should probably just make a list. I think being Type A or, attempting and planning things would make me a lot happier. 


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