I have love I need to pour out.

I have adored you the moment I met you. Perhaps I never told you that. Be it my ego, be it my pride. You swept me off my feet, being so incessantly charming, it oozes out of you. How could I not help but fall in love so hard and so fast that it felt like a crash. Leaving me with broken bones and a broken heart. I physically hurt. 

I can't believe I had you. I still can't. I still don't believe I had you. You were so perfect and amazing that I couldn't believe that you wanted me the way I wanted you. To be loved by you didn't feel right. I still wonder if you ever did. You looked me in my eyes and told me you would die for me. And yet I didn't believe it. I am still trying so hard to. 

My heart is stone now. And I have turned yours the same. It's better this way. Logically, it won't hurt anymore. I like it this way. I finally feel like I love my little stone heart, my little ego, my little pride. It keeps me safe. From your love. 

 Hello, 

I'm writing here again. 

It's been time. I don't know how long has passed and how long more is it going to be. The days just kind of pass in a blur. I am very happy. I think that's the predominant feeling that I am feeling. I am learning things and making jokes and seeing progress in the things that I take heart in. I have goals and dreams and steps to achieve them. 

I have people that love me and show me that they love me. Life is good. 

I lost my sunglasses a few days ago. I got very sad as they were the pair that I got when I went shopping with Jaime's mom. I ordered the exact same pair off of it's website but that's not the same. 

I am playing tennis. I watched a bunch of videos this morning and I'm eager to start using the skills that I learnt in practice. There are truly too many things that I want to do and frankly, probably not enough time.