Friday, March 4, 2016

My Name

I always had a love-hate relationship with my name.

Well, more hate than love really.

Growing up, I hate to suffer through endless, and I repeat, ENDLESS, times that people try and fail to pronounce my name properly.

"IS IT EEE ZIAAAN?"
"Honestly I'm not even going to try and pronounce your name cause I'm sure I would butcher it."
"Just tell me how to pronounce your name"
"I love that you stick to your roots and keep your old name"

Not only that, most people just straight up forget my name most of the time. Since it's such a bitch to pronounce.

You would think that having a unique name would make it easier for people to remember, rather than a run-of-the-mill name. BUT NO, but maybe that's because my name is not only difficult to pronounce its also pretty darn long.

Well since my name started with a "Y", which is pretty much one of the last alphabet, I was always one of the last people to be called on during roll call. Which made me super nervous and twitchy every time a teacher or somebody did turns based on the name list. Since I had to wait super long to get to my name and looking at other people's presentation which were mostly like super impressive, made me feel really bad about what I had to present.

Not only that, you have to be super vigilant to catch your name since it is one of the last ones. You can't really not pay attention while the teacher/person rambles on. Which sucks if the class happens to be like, a class of a hundred people.

OH AND ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WAS A BITCH when you just aren't that good in holding a pencil yet nor now much about the alphabet and letters, and you had to write your name on everything and your name happens to be the MOST DIFFICULT THING TO WRITE EVER, especially in Chinese goddamnit, AND I attended Chinese school for like the first 6 years of my schooling years.

I just have so much name angst.

WHY DID MY PARENTS CHOOSE SUCH A NAME.

Okay, I figure I'll get the parts I hate about my name out of the way so that I will get all the complaining done and when I finish this rant, I will be in ALL LOVE relationship with my name.

Things I love about my name:

Well, it means, determination, worthy and virtuous, or that's what I think it means, I typed the Chinese equivalent into Google and that's what I got.

Which is pretty cool, how many names have dual or many meanings?

OOH it is also a boy's name in Chinese. Though, written in English, doesn't really mean much. And I think that's super cool, like, if we were in another country, I would have another identity, as a DUDE.

Oh and it goes pretty well with my brother's name too. My name and his name coupled together forms the word, DANGEROUS. Which is like super cool, my parents might have planned that out lol.

Well other than that, I'm out.

And the worse thing about names, it follows you everywhere, every time you introduce yourself, every time you hand in something that you wrote, every time somebody addresses you.

By the way, my name is Yi Xian, which is my first name, it has a space in the middle. And Americans don't understand this I have to correct my name everywhere in the school record. And endure people calling me YI for like a year.

Toodles.