Tuesday, December 8, 2015


It has been nearly a year since I left the doorstep of my house, my home.

And I think it is time that I go home.

Confession time. I am starting to forget the faces of my parents, the parents that brought me into this world and raised me, the parents who paid for my ludicrous tuition fees in this university.

Most importantly, I forgotten how my own brother looked like. Even though the likeness of him stares back at me every single time I look into a mirror.

True, I do Skype them nearly every week (not my brother though). But today, I was clearing out old stuff on my laptop, and I came across photos of my family that I took before I left for the States. And, regretfully, I, experience some kind of deja vu vibe, like the faces of my family seem familiar to me, but not really. 

Which motivated me to write this blog post. 


I bought air tickets to go home. Even though they cost a fortune, I'll earn everything back one day. I can't forget my family. They are everything. 

So I'm going home. Like finally.  

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Hi. Yes I'm horrible at keeping resolutions.

Writing here on a Sunday morning. Talked to my parents this morning and it was great.

Funny how when I was back home I literally try to be away from my parents every single waking hour and now I feel so happy just to talk to them for 30 minutes every week.

Absence makes the heart grows fonder I guess.

I really should talk to them more though. They are paying my college tuition. And I kinda miss their nagging.


I'm like super curious if people actually legit party and go out and drink every weekend. Cause just being outside for just an hour everyday already makes me so tired I could just take 5 hour long naps just to recuperate.

So, just how do people have the stamina to non stop party the entire weekend? It really astounds me.

Maybe it is the friends. If I have good enough friends, who would drag me out every day, maybe I would party all weekend too.


Well today is designated study day. Shit is getting real next week as my third class starts and I will be a full time student with 9 credit hours to finish within a month.

Gonna caffeinate myself.


Oh btw writing this smoothie down for myself so I don't forget.

Tried freeballing a strawberry smoothie this morning and it was so fucking good. Today started off so damn good.

Cup of Strawberries
Cup of Silk Soy milk
2  Tbsp of Fage Greek yoghurt
Tbsp of Flax seeds
Tsp of CINNAMON  *Secret Ingredient Sh
As much honey as you like

This shit is good.

Future me please try this out often.

Friday, July 10, 2015


I really am growing up.

This short 6 months of living by myself, away from family and friends really matures you up I guess.

Why would I think that? You may ask, you still are that adorable little girl with a baby voice.

Well the fact that I voluntarily woke up at 7.30 this morning and started reading news articles with coffee by my side makes me think that I'm pretty adulty.


I read this article yesterday that if you write down at least 400 words per day everyday, it really helps boost your thinking skills and creativity and learning process and etc etc.

Here goes.

Well actually. Truth to be told, I was supposed to volunteer at a middle school building an outdoor class room for the kids. But I missed the bus, so since I was already up, and I have a meeting in another 2 hours, I just made myself coffee and read the news.

Note to self: *Download and read to kill a mockingbird.

Is that 400 words already?

Honestly, I think good writers are good because they are able to open themselves and tell good stories. Since the main rule to a good story is being able to experience it yourself.

I'm literally just brain farting here.

Things to invent in the future:
Trendy raincoats that doesn't make you look like a dork. Cause umbrellas are practically useless; you still get wet even if you're using an umbrella. And umbrellas are super heavy to carry around.

Is that 400 words?

I think so.

Did you know I aspired to be a writer when I was a child?

You know in kindergarten, when the teacher made you write down your ambitions, I always either put down teacher or writer or nurse.

Yea. Tiny me was already a fickle minded little prick.


Wednesday, June 24, 2015



I honestly haven't spoken for a few days now I think my brain is slowly transforming into mush.

It's not like I deliberately don't speak, it's just that I have legit little to none social contact with anybody. Literally.

That is what happens when you are taking online classes.

I have even taken to studying at libraries in hopes of some dashing stranger that also likes studying glances upon me and is taken to my cute personality and talks to me.

So far. No luck.

Drinking a lot of coffee lately. I'm kinda addicted to that shit. My teeth are so yellow right now.

Not that it matters. If this goes on. NOBODY would ever see my teeth. Since I'm practically mute.

I could just skip brushing and flossing and rinsing and just you know, have bad breath and rotten teeth.

Gonna type here way more these few days. Cause well, nobody else has the time nor energy to listen to my thoughts and opinions.

Such a pity though. I have a great voice.


Well, have been programming a shit ton these few days. At least I have mad programming skills to show.

I totally googled online, and it said that if I cease to talk for a long period of time, I will eventually become shyer and shyer.

So if  I think this is bad, in the future, I would become one of those people that are super pale and practically just live on the Internet.

I'm gonna be overweight and be living on Gatorade. And weed.

However, Google also showed me results of people that haven't talked for months on end.

Well that made me feel a tad bit better.

Too bad for those people that haven't talked for months. At least I talked just 2 days ago.

Urgh I think I'm weird.


Sunday, June 21, 2015



It's summer here in the USA.

So I am pretty sad and lonely here since I have just had my first semester here and I don't know many people here yet.

And everybody that I consider a close friend just left me and went home and I'm just here in college taking summer classes.

But yea I have been travelling a bit to Yellowstone park and it was so fuckingly awesome. And I think it is a good thing to write about it as proof that I actually went there.

I don't know how travelling people manage to blog cause I find this a really difficult thing to do. Honestly I can barely recall what I did just 2 hours ago.

So let's start with the sequence of pictures I guess.

Firstly we landed at the HIDDEN VILLAGE.

Nah we went to MOUNT RUSHMORE in South (or was it North?) Dakota. It was pretty cool to see stone faces. Wish I could climb to the top of their heads or into their noses though. However it was against the law or something. They had fences and stuff.

Fun fact. They actually made the sculptures by blasting it with dynamite.

Paid 11 dollars and went through an entire documentary about the mountain and that was the only information about the mountain that I managed to retain.

Apparently the ice cream there is famous or something because it is made of the original recipe of some famous person so definitely try it out.

See. That's why I can't really write good travel blogs. I just can't remember shit.

Oh and it just so happen to be Memorial Day when we were visiting it so there were truckloads of people just milling around the place. And there were veterans there raising funds so that was pretty cool. Go USA and all that.

This is a picture that happen to be a scene on the interstate.

It was mostly just farmhouses and grass on the way there. And the occasional rainbow. And cows. Shitton of cows just grazing away on the way there. And Wall Drug. And roadkill.

So Wall Drug. On the interstate we passed by advertisement billboards. A lot of them. And this particular advertisement just repeated itself for around 100 miles. Maybe more. Just advertising a Wall Drug. Which made us super curious. They had pretty catchy slogans too.

So we stopped there.

Turns out it was a fake cowboy town. And damn that place is strange. There was a T Rex there. An antlered rabbit the size of two grown men. A gorilla playing the piano for a dollar. Wax figures. Purdy cool stuff.


I really appreciated the road trip there than actually being there. The scenes there were really pretty and it was kinda a lifetime experience. Since this is the longest time that I have sat in a car. My ass was really sore after this.

AND BAM WE REACHED. Spent the first night there sleeping in the car. There was MUCH UNCOMFORTABLENESS with 5 of us in just a sedan-ish car. AND since I happen to be the smallest in size. I landed with the middle back seat. Which made my neck died.

So that's a picture of a sulfur pool. Or hot spring? Anyway its hot. And it smells like sulfur. It's really pretty though with the colors.

We cooked dinner in the tent. The tenting part was pretty fun too. Cooking outdoors, huddling over a campfire, chillin in the tent. And by chillin I mean freezing. It's supposed to be summer but heck one day it actually snowed. It was around 8 degree Celsius at night I think. Since we didn't have any form of cell service the entire time we were there. But it felt like a 8 degree Celsius.

You would think that being smack dab on top of an active volcano would make the place warm. NO.

View of the lake there. Basically all the views there are pretty. It's a national park. It exudes pretty views.

Here are more sulfur ponds. It was so hot that apparently we couldn't even walk near it and they made us all walk on boardwalks.

There was a lot of Asian tourists there too.

So many people gathered to see the Old Faithful Geyser. It was quite a wait. And quite a crowd. Worth the wait though. This thing is magnificent.

The gift shop at the Old Faithful was also quite good. In fact. Loved the gift shop at Yellowstone. Was so close to buying a 40 dollar quilt with a wolf on it. It was the most majestic quilt I have ever laid eyes on. Didn't buy it since I am pretty broke and I already do have a boring purple quilt.

Then again. Maybe the gift shop seems so wonderful because it was the closest thing to industrialization to us, the bunch of city kids.

More views. This in particular looks like it came out of a fairy tale. there were also bisons grazing along the field and drinking from the stream. Which this being a phone camera, did not capture. Half expected fairies to come out of the flowers.

Even more views. Rocky mountains. They climbed the rocks like a goat. Me? Not so much.

Rock formations! Pretty cool too!

I have no idea what this is but I think they are rocks. Water was flowing through it. That pattern tho.

So yea that sums up this blog post. One of the longest that I have ever wrote. I am a pretty bad travel blogger and a worse traveler. Before I went there I fully had the intention to learn some geography and study volcanoes and hot springs and how they are formed and all that. Turns out I have a zero retention rate.

I shall resolve to travel better.

I camped on top of an active volcano ground. Pretty bad ass huh.

Wish I wasn't so shy and awkward with my travelling companions though. Which made the trip a tad bit uncomfortable for me. I just over think and make my self feel like shit.


Monday, April 27, 2015



Happy Birthday to you.

And well you've always wanted to see this so there you go I guess.

Shitty birthday present I know.

And well, I write here sometimes. When things are depressing. Not very often cause like I only write when things get extremely bad and I have no where to turn to but usually that's not very often I can usually talk to you or Eunice or somebody.

Funny how many Eunices became really significant in my life. It's like I have a connection with the name.

Maybe I should change my name to Eunice.

Have fun :)

Wednesday, April 22, 2015



Hung out with this guy named Jacob on Monday which I met through that one time that I went for archery.

So what's so special about this occasion that it deserves a mention here?

Well apparently our friend Jacob here has been busy starting his own business. And during dinner he has been telling me about his business plan over Panera Bread.

Which really made me think long and hard about my life plans.

Do I really want to confine myself to the plain old boring, tedious and normal 9-5 jobs like everybody else I know?

Well, of course not. But then again, it has been what I have known my entire life. Being chained to a desk is what I was raised to excel in.

I'm not really a people's person see. Most of the time I can't even stand being around people. It's just me being super arrogant and shy at the same time. I can't explain it. It's like a defense mechanism. You're so shy and scared to talk to people you choose to be arrogant instead, its how you survive in the society.

Yea. I really want to be a location rebel. Truth be told. I study what I study not because I want to work. It's because I want to learn.

Wow. That's the right mentality. My dad would be so proud of me.

Alright. Signing off to ace my dynamics quiz.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Hey its me again,

Haven't been writing for a long time. I know. My resolutions are all shit. Well, nobody ever keeps their resolutions anyway.

So to answer the question "how's it going" like everybody here in the States say as a greeting. Which honestly the first few times that people actually asked me how's it going, I had an internal freakfest, like I was so tongue tied since nobody back home gave a shit on how your life is going, being asked how was my life really stunned me and I took like 5 minutes to ponder my sad sad life before I said "good".

Which is a lie.

Yea, so as you can guess. The culture shock is real.

Right. I have been so freakishly busy these days. Really have to up my study game here. In fact, its 1 am in the morning here and I am supposed to be writing an essay that is due today at 10 am.

I don't know.

I don't feel too good to be honest. Firstly, the culture shock is a real thing. Therefore, its just hard to blend in. Being an international student isn't the easiest thing. You are dumped right in the middle of a totally unknown and new society and just asked to live without everything that you were used to.

I'm like Bear Grylls. And all the people around me are like brand new animals. .

It's difficult to put it into words. Although I'm glad there's plumbing here so I won't have to drink my pee like Bear Grylls.

Actually I'm not that glad about the plumbing after all cause the water is kinda gross here at my dorm.

Gonna try to write again later this week as writing is extremely therapeutic to me I don't know why I don't do this more often this is practically a spa day for me.


Sunday, March 8, 2015


Hello its me,

It has been 3 months since I have been here in the States and life is hectic.

Exams and quizzes every other week and the never decreasing pile of homework and homesickness and culture shock and the fact that I have to do every tiny thing on my own.

Which sucks. Being a grown up suck.

Had a fight with my parents yesterday about scholarships. God I hate applying for all this crap its just so damn much work. Gathering references is the worse thing to do. Having to ask your past professors that you assume you'll never have to talk to again to testify for you. That just sucks. And the fake politeness and the greetings and the worry that they won't give you a good recommendation.

However scholarships are just free money. Which is cool.

I'm so tired all the time. I'm sorry. Haven't been thinking much except for chemistry and dynamics and yea my smart-mouth and wit has just gone too mush. Especially my poor brain.

I'm evolving into a nerd.

Sunday, January 11, 2015


Well. Im in transit in Singapore from Malaysia to the States. And well its 4.50am in the morning and I have not slept at all. So to sum up, I have been awake for 20 hours so far. It sucks. It sucks so bad. Jetlag is a horrible horrible thing. Timezones are the work of the devil. Why can't earth just be square.

Well I am typing this on my phone and im very very grumpy from the lack of sleep. And airport shops are all closed since well shopkeepers have to sleep but I guess not poor students going to study overseas. And all the humans I have ever known are all asleep by now. Thank god I have my parents with me since I am bored as fuck at least I have some humans to talk to I cant be picky.

Been sitting on this piece of ass for 7 hours now and I still have 20 more to go. This ass is already as flat as flat butts can go but after this its literally gonna become nonexistent. Urgh I hate this.