Tuesday, January 28, 2014

On holiday today. My college finally did something right for the first time in its entire existence - giving out appropriate holidays.

I totally don't get why nobody likes me. I'm so freakishly fun and sporting. Sure, you may say that people who are truly fun and sporting would not come out directly and state that they are fun and sporty. Just like how psycho killers would never admit that they are in fact psycho killers. But hey, this blog is essentially what's going on in my brain and its not in any way psychotic and bitchy right? RIGHT?

Well. I've got a best friend who likes me and brings me out whenever he cans. I got that going for me I guess. And its really sweet that he lives like a 25 minute drive from my house plus there's a toll in that stretch of road, which he willingly pays. Aw. That proves I'm a really really fun sporty and interesting person right?

Quite a productive day so far. Went to the gym for the first time this year. Literally died on the treadmill after 15 minutes. How can people go to the gym for fun? And REGULARLY? What is wrong with these people are they automatons made out of steel and they sweat out hydrocarbons? Or are they just insecure about themselves until the point that they will drop dead when they stop going to the gym and see a mirror? But still, applause for them, good for you, but I'm never ever going to the gym again this month. Or until the weighing scale says I have to.

Ooooooh though going to the gym was quite of an ego boost. There was this bunch of teenage boys around the age of maybe 16? They look young anyways. And it feels effing awesome to be centre of their attention MUAHAHAH. It helps also if you happen to be the only female in the entire gym. Plus they asked me to help them take a photo. Which is kinda stupid who takes pictures in the gym? Unless you're so ripped from the gym session that you fell in love in yourself and need to document the moment. I mean, during gym time you're all sweaty and red in the face and wearing your workout clothes. Yea.

Going to the gym seriously sucks. Not going to go until I gain like 10kg and when my best friend absolutely hates me and can't stand to be around me as going to puncture his car tyres, then only would I grudgingly go. Its 2 more days till Chinese New Year and there's like a ton of cleaning to do in my house. Mainly my room seriously even though have started cleaning since December I still think if I look hard enough I ll find cockroach families somewhere. AND going to the gym makes my muscles ache like craaaaaaaaaazy so, SO gonna get scolded by my parents because lack of clean air in my room, due to me being unable to hold a broom because my arms feel like falling off.




Them people that light up fireworks near my house, no, in fact, the road outside my house, which is a two-storey terrace house, and is tiny in size.


Sure, Chinese New Year is in approximately 2 days away. And I am a Chinese too. And I don't mean to sound like a 70 year old woman who hates fun and hates kids and hates the world in general ( which I'm sure even a grumpy old woman who lives with 30 cats would also enjoy CNY cause its frigging awesome ) but seriously, ARE YOU STUPID TO PLAY FIREWORKS?

Let's ignore the obvious fact that it imposes a fire hazard so huge that Godzilla would be scared of it, seriously, how fun is it to see fireworks explode at the level of your house's windows, I mean, its not even pretty like that, the fireworks don't even get to spread out at all. Plus, you spent all that precious money to buy pretty fireworks to see them, of course you would want them to explode way way high above for other people in distant areas to see and appreciate your generosity and wealth and love for your kids. And, you don't even get bragging rights as nobody see's them ( fireworks are illegal in our country I think, or that's what my parents always told me when I requested for fireworks, plus fireworks here are shit expensive )
AND OMG THE NOISE. Do you think its fun for you to scare every single thing in the entire neighbourhood? It certainly doesn't earn you any brownie points with every single one of your neighbours. ITS A NEIGHBOURHOOD for gods sake the sound reverberates on every single house in the entire street. May you be prepared to die in your house as nobody would call the ambulance for you if you have say a stroke. ( okay that's mean I don't mean that ) AND what if there are old people around the neighbourhood, they may totally have a heart attack and you would go to hell as you have committed murder. Oh and every time you step out of the house, be prepared to be pelted by eggs and bitten by dogs, cause now my dog hates you too as you forced it to hide for around half an hour under the sofa, which I tried it before, is shit uncomfortable.

Oh yea, the fire hazard. YOU GUYS ARE BASTARDS. Do you want us all to die? I'm just 19 for gods sake. OMG or worse, ARE YOU TRYING TO BURN DOWN MY COMPUTER? AND ALL MY PRETTY CLOTHES? Cause if you do that swear I will save up enough money to buy my own fireworks and give you some firework display that you like so much every single day. Be warned I have a damn good aim. And I know which one is your window where you sleep.

Thank you.


Yes I'm wishing you a Happy Chinese New Year too my inconsiderate and slightly slow but rich neighbour. May we all have good luck and prosperity. Yada Yada :)

BUAI! :D I'm seriously so festive I could burst out in Chinese new year songs and redness. Blood is red right.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Its like MAGIC.

Never really believed in Astrology actually. Sure I'll read the Horoscope section if a newspaper comes my way but truth to be told stuff that is predicted by the newspaper never ever happen to me in real life. Or maybe it happened but I'm too dense to understand. Which I think that's most probably the case.

So today by chance I happened to Google Taurus celebs (which by the way I'm a Taurus) and lo and behold every single one of them that came out happened to be those that I seriously have a crush on. That I loved their sense of  style and that I love their character and yada yada.
Like Cory Monteith, that I totally crushed on for ages, and and Audrey Hepburn, which eff is the most perfect woman on this earth.
That means astrology is TRUE.

On that note, I shall go research more into this thing. If it really happens to be accurate, I'm going to predict fortunes. Or maybe just deliberately choose all my lucky days to go rob a bank.


Saturday, January 18, 2014


So annoyingly jealous of them Korean actresses with their white fair skin and long lashes and doe eyes and straight nose GAH.
What's the thing about pretty people that you want to rip their face off and stick it onto your own? Or is it just me?

Kim Tae Hee. Gawd she's so perfect, even them eye bags under her eyes actually enhances her prettiness. Why is God so unfair. Seriously I would die for her skin.

Yoona. Duh. Slightly monolidded but still effingly gorgeous. Which how on earth is that possible.

Seriously take all my money but I want their skin, hair and nose. Oh and jawline too my jawline looks like it has been repeatedly punched by a sumo cause its so swollen.
I'm SO getting plastic surgery once I save enough for it.

BYE. Going to go die in front of the mirror by looking at myself.

Friday, January 17, 2014


I know I should be in the Guinness Book of Records. Three posts in a day? Ohmaigawd Xian have you underwent surgery or something to cure your laziness?
Wow okay I know, its just been a really boring day, the most interesting thing that happened today was me starting a new season of NCIS: Los Angeles which I can't believe I haven't started watching before.

Need new TV series to start actually. Have been watching too much TV that I go through series so fast that I'm disappointed at the rate my Internet is loading, way too fast yo.

Right, just had a really sad dinner of Satay sticks with peanut sauce and half a grilled salmon slice and couple pieces of guava. Alone. Pretty sure my parents are torturing me like that. CAN'T WAIT TO JET OFF INTO THE SUNSET TO AMERICA. That sounded wrong I know. Oh and its literally the sunset see USA is in Malaysia's West. Unless the pilot flies the other way which is over Aussie and Japan, then its the sunrise. Erm wait USA time is earlier than Malaysian time in time zone difference, so, okay sunrise it is. Oh gawd I just bored you guys to death didn't I. Betcha all slumped over the keyboard now, drooling.

On the bright side I now know I can fit an entire piece of guava into my mouth. Without choking. Wanna date me? ;)

ARGH WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY CONSIDERATE FRIENDS WHO WILL DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO PUCHONG TO FETCH ME OUT. Gawd I actually think my parents deliberately moved to a faraway place to avoid us going out frequently. Cause Puchong honestly, staying here for nearly 10 years already, I find Puchong a freakishly boring place. Night life here sucks. And PARENTS WON'T GET US A CAR. Wanna feel how imprisonment is like? Come to my house, its exactly like a jail.

Okay brain vomiting. I better go back to NCIS i can feel em unsolved crimes calling to me. Maybe I should be a detective and be really cool and wear shades all the time and a trench coat and nobody can say I'm a poser.


Okay got bored of NCIS. I have the attention span of a fly.

Gonna watch Korean dramas instead and get all sappy and sad and depressed and needy and sure I'm gonna end up forever alone and wish somebody likes me.

And end up fat too as been eating a lot of Chinese New Year cookies and nuts instead of ice cream ( There's an ice cream ban in my house, dad thinks they're unhealthy. I KNOW RIGHT, why can't they kill me already )
Which is OKAY as fat people always have awesome boobs. Which would be a nice change. Cause everybody that knows me in person would never relate the word boobs and me together. Sad I know. Maybe I should get a boob job when I get older. What a bimbo thought I just had. Whatever, guess my future children would be really thin as slice of silicon in my future boobs would block their food source.


Am watching this Korean drama called My Princess and honestly Korean dramas feed you a ton of crap

#1 Gutsy girls who speak their mind and act really cute gets the guy

Soooooo not true hello if I went up to some guy in front of the girl he likes and claim that he is my boyfriend most probably I will get punched in my pretty face. ( Okay you may not get this but what happened was the main character in the drama went ahead to this guy and gave him some relationship advice by telling him he should make the girl he likes jealous, so she went ahead and told the girl that she's his girlfriend )
And all the cuteness honestly if it is in the real world, the girl would be either
(A) punched in the face by every girl in the world cause she's stealing all the dudes in this world
(B) be gang raped cause she's cute AND pretty
Oh and the speaking their mind thing? Well its a miracle she hasn't been killed by everybody she knows because honesty makes other people hate you. True fact.

#2 Fate is how you will meet your husband

Seriously, if you meet this guy more than once in a day or once in a week, chances are that dude is going to be your future husband. Who cares if he's a jerk or looks extremely ugly? He's going to change his entire being in the end just for you. ( See Boys Over Flowers )

#3 The guy you've been crushing on since forever? Well he's a jerk, and the guy that you totally hate the most and is your arch-enemy? Well, that's your future husband

EVERY SINGLE KOREAN DRAMA I WATCH. SERIOUSLY? Or is it that I have bad taste in choosing the dramas?

#4 Some sort of accident will happen that cause you to find your true love with the ugly/jerk/rich dude that you hate so much and you guys will go through some hardships usually parents/lifestyle/friends

I think I had this rant before but yeap there's a ginormous cliché in Korean dramas.
AND YESH I still enjoy wasting all my time watching them okay. I'm a romantic girly girl okay. I like to watch Titanic and cry into my Chinese New Year cookies and milk.



Hey I know I don't update here much, but usually I don't have much to talk about unless I have a sudden epiphany like, then I feel strongly about some things then I ll start to rant here.

Okay that makes me a totally unreliable source so feel free to click away.
But honestly, hardly anything interesting happens in my day to day life. I'm a hardcore Taurus girl who kinda enjoys staying at home to going out, and my parents are totally Asian and overprotective so I don't have much need to do anything at all. So typically, what can I write about?

So just had an epiphany. What the heck am I doing with my life right now?

Let's back up a bit. Today was a public holiday ( I KNOW RIGHT WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY COUNTRY, HOW ARE WE EVEN PRODUCTIVE ) and I woke up from my nap at like 7 pm with the sudden realisation that I'm doing nothing with my life ( And the strong suspicion I'm sleeping my life away )

Then I kind of look back at what I've been doing today and honestly, if my computer crashed, I would be utterly and totally lifeless.

Kind pathetic that my life has to depend on the longevity of my computer.

But then, the internet always make me feel better see, went and did a Google search on "what am I doing with my life?" and got like 1.3 billion hits. Feels awesome to see everybody also feeling like shit.

And honestly reading other people's problems, I feel like I'm totally perfect since I don't masturbate every single day, I'm not stuck in some boring 9 to 5 job ( at least not yet ), buying 10 tubs of Ben and Jerry ice cream and chips, and, or a prostitute.

This doesn't relate to anything, just found it funny so stuck it here hahaha.

But somehow, see, I'm 19 years old and I already have this problem that I feel totally useless. Maybe because the fact that I don't have a car, maybe because I have the strictest and meanest parents ever, maybe I'm a Taurus. Gawd I hate my life now. The unproductivity in my life is waaaay toooo high.

At least I'm not alone though, thousands of people out there are addicted to Netflix too. 
I think its a legit addiction.
They should legalize weed and ban this instead no shit.
This is more dangerous and time consuming than weed.

Which in my case, as a multilingual individual, internet TV is a honestly time sucking evil sprit that steals all your time and then you die with your tombstone saying " Here lies Xian. Watched 3 seasons of Game of Thrones in a day. May she rest in peace."

Okay I have more problems than Internet addiction but let's end it at that. The rant about the sucky parenting of my parents that thinks they did a good job raising us would need an entire separate page with maybe 40 post to get out of my system.
No shit.

Okay my GIFs don't make sense but whatever. Only stuck a couple GIFs here because swear too many words are boring. Like a textbook.


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Cold Hard Cash

is freakishly hard to come by

Am honestly a little tight on money right now. And quoting the wise words of Becky Bloomwood's dad, Graham Bloomwood, from Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella, I have to either CB or MMM. Which is acronyms for Cut Back and Make More Money.

So have been Cutting Back for ages now and it ain't working yo. Sure, it has benefits like you get really slim and thin and all that extra fat around your tummy is digested to glucose for you to survive. But still, the money ain't enough and I have to become really thick faced to ask my parents for extra dough. Which is frigging annoying as they'll start asking multiple questions ex:

And after all that interrogation, they just fork out half of what you originally requested.

Parents right.

So am resolving now to method #2 for the moneh. Went searching for some freelance jobs but no shit, freelance jobs are kind of even worse than full time jobs. Somehow they expect you to write like 5 articles per day. And I can't even finish my homework in time due to the extreme amount of laziness residing in me. So totally not my fault.

THEREFORE, I'm putting ads on this blog to obtain any meager sum of money the ad companies offer me. Im just so desperate for cash you know. Its like finally seeing the oasis after 5 years in the Sahara Desert. Which, though little, is better than none ( since they re gonna be my future boss may as well suck up abit now heh ) SORRY. I NEED MONEY. And since I write on this every other day, may as well. FEEL FREE TO CLICK ON THE ADS! :D

Oh and. GAWD ADS ARE DIFFICULT TO PUT ON THIS BLOG. HTML is so confusing. I rather learn German.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

New Year Resolutions


Can't stress this enough have been wanting to workout since forever but IN MY DEFENCE this is the first year working out made the cut to be in my New Year's resolution list. Well I am kinda flabby around the stomach I hate the end of puberty. Honestly when I was in my childhood and teens god I could stuff my face with just about anything and still stay thin like a frigging stick now I eat an apple and I gain 10kg.


Well. This speaks for itself. Im an overly attached crazy bitch. HEH.

YEAP. I get into lots of dry patches when I don't moisturise. Literally. Actually, taking into account that I live in Malaysia where it is hot and humid all year long there's not much logic in moisturising but there you are I have frigging sensitive skin. Fuck me right. Oh and moisturising makes me smell so nice. Usually after I moisturise I try to walk pass people as close as possible and as many times possible till people give me funny looks. WHUT. I smell nice okay.


Nah JK. Just kinda wanna stop arguing with them. It really kills my vibe every time I argue with them and nothing good comes out of it other than me getting the opportunity to scream.

Yeap I just put this in for good fortune. I mean, usually you don't actually fulfil all your new year resolutions but you do in fact accomplish some of them, right? So, LETS HOPE THIS YEAR ITS THIS ONE.

Gawd even Palaeolithic men used smoke signals. Mine has no signal. NOKIA. GAH.
Thinking of changing to the Blackberry Q5 actually. That thing comes in RED and is too frigging cute to say no to. EVEN THOUGH it has totally no cool Apps and Games whatsoever that's why I have a Tablet PC.



Okay found this it is so cute sorry meme overload heh

Thursday, January 2, 2014

No Friends in College

Yeap. True.

Never really had the guts to admit it but somehow today I'm feeling extra brave or something. Maybe its something in my breakfast cereal. Maybe because I just broken up and am feeling extra vulnerable and feel like opening up to something. But that totally another story. So I started college about erm. May 2013. Which means I have been in college for 7 month? 2 semesters anyways. Sorry for the suckiness of my maths. And I'm studying the American Transfer Program which basically means I'm taking the American syllabus of taking new subjects each semester and setting my own timetable and basically have absolute fluidity in college. Thing is the ADTP, every single class you go to, its always different people in every class. Which is totally different from the British education system I've been in my whole life until now, where you are in the same class with the same people from 8am till 3pm and the timetable is all fixed.

Sure I do have plenty of acquaintances, people to say HI to in the hallways, people to copy homework from in classes (This is Malaysia you know, nobody actually do their homework themselves unless you are level 99999 nerd ) , people to copy notes and do class assignments with. But somehow there is never a friend there. No friends to go out to movies with, friends to eat lunch with, friends to gossip with. I really miss all my high school friends.

Maybe its my fault since I'm a real introvert. But I can totally pull off a conversation, say, when people talk to me, they won't feel awkward or run out of stuff to say or I won't pick my nose mid sentence, which means my social skills are intact. Its just that I never make the first move to talk to people first, which isn't a problem I guess cause I'm kinda cute ( sorreh ) and people tend to talk to me first and I can talk perfectly fine but after the conversation ends usually they just go, oh okay, thanks mate, good talk, byeeeee. Which I ll go NOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE ME. (nah I don't really do that just for purpose of making this more dramatic)
Maybe I give off the vibe that I hate humans.

Which yeaa thats another story to tell. I may be good in talking to people from my college, but I'm not comfortable in talking to them. What do you mean you confusing complicated girl? I mean, I just don't find people in my college that interesting to talk to. Somehow stuff they are interested in just don't interest me. Or maybe they are just humourless bunch of people that are secretly aliens cause somebody like me that is so desperate for friends still don't find my acquaintances somewhat suitable to be friends with and if I have to force myself to talk to them during lunch or when we are in class, I honestly rather be alone.

So alone time. Basically it just means sitting alone in the ginormous lecture hall, spending all free time in the library, skipping lunch, going home as soon as class ends, and a lot of playing with your phone/laptop/tablet (the ultimate tool god made to make humans unsociable). Which has a lot of perks I guess (hey bright side of things ya know, better than moaning that I'm so lonely)

#1 You get really really thin from skipping break time and lunch (who needs exercise)
#2 You pee a lot during break time because you keep filling up your water bottle to drink cause you have nothing to do during break
#3 Finding out a lot of cool stuff you didn't know existed on your phone
#4 Becoming an insufferable know it all when it comes to tech talk cause you play with your phone a lot
#5 Passing all levels on all sorts of Apps e.g. Cut the rope, Pudding Monsters, Plus having all high scores within your friend circle on say Temple Run, Subway Surfer.
#6 You get a lot of exercise from climbing stairs instead of taking the elevator because you walk alone and you have plenty extra time so you take the stairs.
#7 You score REALLY REALLY GOOD RESULTS from all the time in the library
#8 You can forget to do homework the night before and still have time to finish it before class starts, since you don't have anyone to gossip with
#9 You are really close with your lecturers.
#10 You are really close to the cafeteria workers cause you are so desperate you talk to them about food

Just kidding.

Okay la I guess its my fault as instead of spending first semester of college getting to know people and making friends, I hung out a lot with my boyfriend. We are in different courses by the way. And now since we kinda broke up, or having a break whichever, I'm kinda alone once again.

Really contemplating my life choice whether I want to switch courses back the British Education system I've been in my whole life since all my other friends from high school continued with A levels and they all are happy as frigging clams. Which if I transfer, I'm kinda throwing away the possibility that I'm going to the States to study and resigning to the fate my parents thought out for me which is finishing my college education locally. Which. I rather go to the States. Which somehow I think the States is a more worse place to make friends, judging by all the forums on the internet that states that they have no friends.