Fireworks

To,

Them people that light up fireworks near my house, no, in fact, the road outside my house, which is a two-storey terrace house, and is tiny in size.

Hello.

Sure, Chinese New Year is in approximately 2 days away. And I am a Chinese too. And I don't mean to sound like a 70 year old woman who hates fun and hates kids and hates the world in general ( which I'm sure even a grumpy old woman who lives with 30 cats would also enjoy CNY cause its frigging awesome ) but seriously, ARE YOU STUPID TO PLAY FIREWORKS?

Let's ignore the obvious fact that it imposes a fire hazard so huge that Godzilla would be scared of it, seriously, how fun is it to see fireworks explode at the level of your house's windows, I mean, its not even pretty like that, the fireworks don't even get to spread out at all. Plus, you spent all that precious money to buy pretty fireworks to see them, of course you would want them to explode way way high above for other people in distant areas to see and appreciate your generosity and wealth and love for your kids. And, you don't even get bragging rights as nobody see's them ( fireworks are illegal in our country I think, or that's what my parents always told me when I requested for fireworks, plus fireworks here are shit expensive )
 
AND OMG THE NOISE. Do you think its fun for you to scare every single thing in the entire neighbourhood? It certainly doesn't earn you any brownie points with every single one of your neighbours. ITS A NEIGHBOURHOOD for gods sake the sound reverberates on every single house in the entire street. May you be prepared to die in your house as nobody would call the ambulance for you if you have say a stroke. ( okay that's mean I don't mean that ) AND what if there are old people around the neighbourhood, they may totally have a heart attack and you would go to hell as you have committed murder. Oh and every time you step out of the house, be prepared to be pelted by eggs and bitten by dogs, cause now my dog hates you too as you forced it to hide for around half an hour under the sofa, which I tried it before, is shit uncomfortable.

Oh yea, the fire hazard. YOU GUYS ARE BASTARDS. Do you want us all to die? I'm just 19 for gods sake. OMG or worse, ARE YOU TRYING TO BURN DOWN MY COMPUTER? AND ALL MY PRETTY CLOTHES? Cause if you do that swear I will save up enough money to buy my own fireworks and give you some firework display that you like so much every single day. Be warned I have a damn good aim. And I know which one is your window where you sleep.

Thank you.

Oh btw. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! GONG XI FA CAI WAN SI RU YI NIAN NIAN YOU YU! :D ITS THE BEST FESTIVAL OF THE ENTIRE YEAR. SO PROUD TO BE CHINESE :)

Yes I'm wishing you a Happy Chinese New Year too my inconsiderate and slightly slow but rich neighbour. May we all have good luck and prosperity. Yada Yada :)

BUAI! :D I'm seriously so festive I could burst out in Chinese new year songs and redness. Blood is red right.

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