Posts

Showing posts from May, 2019

Errands

I slipped up yesterday. Didn't write a post here like I intended to do.

I found out about macrame and wanted to try my hand at creating a macrame pot hanger, which ended up taking up most of my night. I also grocery shopped and put dishes into the dishwasher.

It's so weird how achieved I feel just doing small errands. Growing up in a society that normalizes housewives and maids, errands such as grocery shopping, cleaning dishes, taking out the trash are a given.

It's also sad that I feel achieved doing small errands. It is a part of life. I feel like I should be able to do small things like cleaning the house and it should be a habit of mine instead of a task that I need to mentally prepare myself to do.

I also think it's ridiculous how seriously people take mental health. This might just be my self-hatred speaking. What I meant by that is how society babies people suffering from depression and anxiety or various other illnesses that plague millennials.

Don't get me wrong, it's an issue that everybody needs to discuss and be educated on. I guess, what I'm trying to express is that I feel as though I have a convenient reason as to why I'm unable to do simple tasks, and that is depression. Again, I cannot reiterate this enough, I don't like to be me.

I feel as though I suffer from mental illnesses because my life was too good.

When you don't have things to worry about, like where your next meal comes from, or how do I get myself out from poverty, or a war to fight, you tend to question yourself. And I in part believe that's where my anxiety comes from.

I have nothing to strive for. Nothing to challenge myself in. Life is good.

I'm only speaking for myself though. I'm a very special snowflake and I'm in the special snowflake demographic.

I remember thinking while I was walking home yesterday about writing being a form of art. Reading Patti Smith transports you to a place where you feel certain emotions. It's hard to put into words, but something like wanderlust, it's a feeling when you watch an especially good travel video with all the right instrumentally music.

Writing about my day isn't all that interesting. I should write about topics. Stories. And, I'm going to try to achieve that.

Day 1 of 365

Hello,

I'm starting to think that I need more hobbies to keep me occupied and have something to show for my life by the time that I die. I do look back on this blog once or twice throughout the year and relive my life at the moment that I wrote it.

So, a mini-challenge for myself, to write a blog post every day this year. Partly because I think it'll improve my mental health, partly because I want to savor my memories in the future. Or let my grandkids know me as a youngin. Or, just improving my writing skills and communication skills in general.

Today was a busy day. It's the day after memorial day and I went into work early. By early, I mean like 8.30am. I walked to work instead of taking the bus today because I felt sluggish, and hey, I need the exercise. Woke up early cause I had the window open and some early morning ambulances drove past on my street.

I spilled eggplant and tofu sauce onto my bed. Should really stop eating on my bed. It's not as though I have any other form of furniture for me to eat off of. So now I'm sitting on a naked mattress on the floor typing this blog out.

I'm thinking how cool it would be if I could attach a picture here. Like some retro-y, film style picture of me on my bare studio apartment. I should get a tripod.

Work-wise mostly debugged this bug regarding backdated data checks and future installments. Briefly learned about settlements and debit schedules.

God, why didn't I throw my socks into the wash too. I have like three pairs of socks just lying around. I'm such a slob.

Alright, that's all for today, will check in tomorrow.