Hey it's me again.

These days it's been pretty calm. Doing my time in therapy, learning a lot about myself. What I like and dislike. What makes me feel good and what doesn't. I'm not there yet. I wouldn't say I'm happy as a person. But I'm content. 

I'm very content. 

There is nothing in my life that I dislike. There are some things that I would like to change, but it's nothing that is bothering me and making me unhappy.

I feel fat right now.

I know. I'm technically still underweight for my height. But I have tiny bones that weigh nothing. I bet I have the least dense bones in the world, just judging by how much I weigh, with the amount of fat that I'm looking at, that's on my stomach. And just based on how heavy I am when I look, normal.

I noticed I do lose a sense of humor/personality. It's odd. The more content I am, the less I have to talk about in life. I guess, a big part of my life truly was just complaining about things. Maybe I should just get fat. People always say fat people are funnier.

I think I should date, but I think I look pretty gross right now. Not that it matters if I truly want to find a partner but I'm not really feeling my best. 

Nor do I know what I want out of a partner. I just know what I don't want. 

I think I'm impatient too. I want things to be better. I want things to be great immediately. 

I'm never going to be a comedian. I tried out both sketch and standup comedy. And I came to a conclusion, I'm terrible and being funny. It's like trying to feed a dog medicine. It's puke on a carpet.

Look. That was terrible.

I do like the people I do these classes with though. So it just might be worth it to spend money to make friends. 

I like funny people. Maybe I should date one.

I think that's it. Date a comedian. Be the breadwinner of the family while the comedian dabbles in performances. And I'll just go to the performances on the weekends and have fun. Be the Vanessa to the Lin-Manuel. 

Any comedians out there wanna date me? I'm based in Chicago LOL shouldn't be difficult to find an aspiring comedian.