Talked to Stephanie.

Have this anxious avoidant style where it's up up up and then down down down immediately.

The key is to stick with it and find the determination to continue.

Talked to Stephanie again.

I'll probably always feel alone to a certain extent.

I need structure in my life. I need things to do. I need a timeframe to do things. I need to plan things. I cannot wake up and just have nothing to do all day. I need something.

Be a parent to yourself. You didn't have that but now you need to learn how to be a parent to yourself.

Be aware of your emotions. Learn how to recognize when you are stressed, vs when you're hungry, vs when you're tired. Learn how to read your body and mind and listen to them.