Goals

 I think I need goals in life.

For everything I do without a goal, it just seems pointless, a waste of time and resources.

I spend a large chunk of my day aimlessly watching YouTube videos or TV Series. I don't know why. I think I'm chasing that dopamine hit. Or maybe I'm so starved of intellectual thought that I'll click on refresh on YouTube a billion times, just to learn something new.

 How is it that there's a billion things in this world to learn, and yet I can't find something I'm interested in? A cause that's worth my time, my money, my effort?

I want to move to New York.

Looks like the only software department in New York is the PromoteIQ team. Looks like it's some e-commerce brand thing, doesn't seem like it's something to do.

Seems like the reason I want to move to New York is the fact that it's so romanticized in TV shows and movies. Of course. I have some friends there. And I love cities.

I can't for the life of me, get super excited about Seattle. It's nice for sure, but it's not a big city. No skyscrapers, no people walking around all stressed out in business suits. It's more chill. Maybe I'll come to enjoy that. I don't know.

I think there's multiple aspects to life.

There's work, but what's work? Is it just your job? I think everything that a person does that builds towards something IS work. 

I work to train my dog.

I work to keep my apartment clean, I guess it's also called cleaning.

I spend a lot of time apartment searching. Does that constitute work? Cause that's literally what agents do.

I guess, in school, I learned that work is literally the measure of the energy needed to do something. Work = Force x Distance. I guess I learned something in all those years after all.

Right, multiple aspects of life. There's finances, there's dreams, there's the humdrum of daily life that's required to keep a person alive and healthy. 

Speaking of. I think it's time I let go of my school notes. I have let go of some, but I still hold on to a lot of those. I think the reason I'm writing this post is cause I think I need a fresh new start. It's time to start looking forward to the future, and hold on less to things that do not bring me joy. 

Regarding Barry. I guess he doesn't fit into the narrative that I have created for myself. This jet setting traveller, creative soul that I long to be.

Barry is a curious animal. I don't understand him quite yet. I don't think I should ever allow him off leash again. He is difficult to control and nothing seems to motivate him.

Maybe he's just being an angsty teen. Where he tries his best to disobey my calls. I'm hoping he settles down and plays better, understands me better.

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