On lonely boy.
Pause.
I think I need to pause.
I think I heal things by running away.
By keeping myself so busy and entirely wrecking my own body.
I don't know how else to do this.
I'm going to the grocery store.
Back at it again
It seems as though I love to procrastinate. This is evidenced by the fact that I’m supposed to study for my optimization midterms; the final exam of my undergraduate life, and hopefully not my last exam for life. I say that because I hope to further my education one day, but not immediately. Ain’t nobody got that kind of time and money. Money especially. Can’t subject my parents to another 2 years of working to the bone to support their leeching child. I say that, yet I’m so worried about everything. I’m worried I can’t find a job. I’m worried I’ll find a job and regret it. I’m worried that people don’t think me as impressive. I’m worried I’ll die and all I can claim to contribute to this society is nothing. I never intend to have kids, so the only thing I can do to leave a legacy is through my work. I’m worried I’m not doing enough. I beat myself up for any day that I don’t achieve everything on my to-do list. Sometimes I think I just shouldn’t do to-do lists because they str...
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