Haven't written in a while. I have been busy.

This semester is all bout commitment. Hardworking. All those power words.

I was writing my resume and I noticed that I did not stay at any student org/ job/ anything really for more than a few months. What does that say about me? I know very well, that I am a quitter.

Well you could tell. I had a resolution to write at least every week and now I'm averaging a post once a month.

University sap the soul out of you indeed.

Was flipping through the resumes of other people this semester. Am infinitely in awe of how people are able to commit to many things. Not only that. They have the courage to actively fight for what they want, something that I don't have.

Say, I'm interested in a student org or a job or something. I would probably just make a note about it in my journal/ planner, then proceed to totally forget about it. Makes me mad with myself.

Which I sometimes think is a good thing anyway. I have the tendency to join 10000 things in a year and proceed to nearly die over the course of the semester, while I give all my orgs/jobs/volunteer/classes nearly zero effort. No reading up coursework before lectures. Barely finishing homework. Never studying for quizzes. Sleepy on the job. Skipping volunteering sessions.

I applaud people that are able to commit to what they started.

Especially self learning crap.

Wanted to work out for the longest time. Also have been wanting to brush up on piano and guitar skills. Had a resolution to improve on cooking skills too. Can't cook for shits here. Wanted to learn how to code too.

And yet I always end up procrastinating and watching endless YouTube/Netflix marathons.

Yi Xian, you really need to get your shit together. For God's sake darling, you are 21 now. Legally able to vote. YOU ARE AN ADULT.

I still feel like a child. Wonder when will I ever feel like I have my shit together. Probably when I have kids. Cause well, you can't really bring a life to earth without making sure your own life is in order right?

OH BTW NOTE TO SELF: PLEASE GO TO THE GROCERY STORE. YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO BUY FOOD FOR YOURSELF BY YOURSELF.

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